06 March 2011 fiction, "Cerise"

The wind blew as couples held hands and walked along the pond of a park in a small town, blissfully in their own worlds, and enjoying the warm fall sunshine. Everyone was happy, and so no one noticed when a small girl gently seated herself on a park bench. She brushed the hair out of her eyes and leaned back, basking in one of the rare moments the world had allowed her to feel beautiful.

However, the moment passed as quickly as it came when she opened her eyes to see a couple holding hands and smiling as they walked by her. The girl bit her lip, and slid down on the bench, quietly focusing on the interlocked hands. She had always been focused on that, on holding hands. She had always been jealous of the happy girl whose hand was carefully interlocked with another’s. Maybe it was because she had never experienced that. Maybe it was because of the ache she felt in her heart every time she looked at her empty hands.

The girl sighed, and again closed her eyes. She had always been one obsessed with touch. She had always been focused on what things felt like, how she felt when her fingers collided with something. Even as a little girl, she had wanted to touch. All the clothing in the stores, wanting to know what cashmere felt like, what silk felt like, what cotton felt like. All the dogs she went by, wanting to feel what texture the fur was. Anything that looked like it was different.

She had always enjoyed shaking hands. It seemed weird, even to her, but when she shook someone’s hand, she felt like she had been given a moment to take an intimate glance at someone. Like feeling the texture of the hand, smooth, soft, rough, calloused, however it was, she felt like she was getting to know them in a way words couldn’t really describe.

The girl stood up, and, stuffing her hands into her pockets, she started off to the bus stop. When the bus arrived, she showed her pass, and sat down on a seat by the window, focusing on the leaves falling off the trees. Fall was so gorgeous, and she wished it would last longer. But she knew that soon enough the leaves would all be gone, and winter would arrive.

She sat in silence for the next five minutes, and soon enough she forgot that she was on a bus, the leaves mesmerizing her. She perhaps would have left reality for a while, had someone not nudged her.

When she turned around to see what had just happened, a boy with brown hair and green eyes stared back at her. “I’m sorry.” He said.

“Excuse me?” the girl asked.

“I said I’m sorry, well, I nudged you by accident, and well, I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

The girl laughed. “Oh? Well, I barely felt it, so it’s alright. I forgive you.”

The boy, relaxing a little at the girl’s smile, laughed as well. “I’m Nicholas.”

“Cerise. It’s nice to meet you.”

Nicholas smiled. “Well it’s very nice to meet you, Cerise.” He stuck out his hand, and Cerise shook it, smiling wider than she thought she was able. Cerise looked into his eyes, and found they were deeper than she had imagined. Looking into his eyes, Cerise found that she could not read him as easily as she could read others. She stared deeper, begging them to tell her at least one small thing about this Nicholas. They revealed nothing.

The bus jerked to a stop, and Cerise blinked, breaking her intent gaze. She reluctantly pulled her hand from his, and shook her head. She turned and looked at the window, realizing that it was her stop. She turned back around, to see Nicholas looking the other way. She tapped him on the shoulder, letting her fingers linger a second to feel the softness of his green sweater. It was cashmere, and she melted.

“Um, this is me.” She breathed as he turned around to look straight into her eyes again.

“Oh, of course.” Nicholas said, standing up to let her through. He smiled.

Cerise smiled too, and she glanced into his eyes one more time before walking by, conscious of the fact that her shoulder brushed his softly. She left the bus, and waved as it drove away, not even noticing what she had left behind.